My womaness is missing.
This is a common theme I have recently encountered from a number of people who I work with at Left of Centre Therapies and is a common discussion amongst friends too. Maybe not in these exact words, but the theme is there.
With all the caring, protecting, providing, responsibility, communication, support etc, that is required in every day life, have we lost our womaness?
So where does this stem from?
Women have grown over the centuries, from primarily ‘gatherer’ to ‘everything…er’. As we move ever closer toward gender equality (I am not discriminating here but will stay focussed on the topic), we have taken on the role of hunter, protector and provider while continuing the role of nurturer, gatherer and carer.
With all of this responsibility, where do we find the space to be that juicy woman? Perhaps we are living the reality of what was so passionately fought for in the 60/70s, but with all that taking on, have we let anything go?
So this got me thinking, how do we create the space to be that juicy woman?
Maybe to start it’s as simple as putting in a few boundaries. Perhaps we have overloaded ourselves with the ‘everything…er’ responsibility and now we need to offload.
So how do boundaries work? Should they be rigid or flexible? Should they be put in place gently or forcefully? How do we put in boundaries without hurting anyone, our partners, our children, our extended family?
Ever tried to put in boundaries and someone has flown off the handle or thrown it right back at you? Well I say do it anyway, but do it smart.
When you put in boundaries there are 4 key considerations:
1. What is your motive? Why are you putting in the boundary? Is it ultimately for your best interest? Is it done with respect for yourself? Eg. As a role model, will it teach your children to have respect for themselves? (rigid)
2. Does this new boundary affect the needs of any other person, and if so, are these real or false needs? Eg. Are you doing something that someone could very easily do for themselves? (possibly slightly flexible)
3. When the boundaries are in you must LOSE the desire to control what happens beyond those boundaries (rigid and while this may be hard, it is a must!)
4. There will be pain before the gain
So be strong, stick to your decision, bear your teeth… And find some freedom.
Ok boundaries are in – where to from here…
This is the fun part, why not start with asking yourself, what would I really like to do right now? Besides take yourself off to a deserted island with your bestie and drink margaritas all day…
How would I really like to spend some time right now?
Maybe read the newspaper with a cup of takeaway coffee, read a book, buy some matching lingerie, have a cocktail with your bestie but at the local or get a massage?
Decide, and then just DO IT.
And while you are doing it, focus on the physical feeling of being a woman and try an old but your new mantra…
“I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!”