As I enter a new phase in my life there seems to be a common theme in the articles and TV shows that I am attracted to – they are all about human endurance. Everyone (well me anyway) loves a miracle and reading these stories has inspired me not only to keep going but also to keep my faith – I have no doubt that it was faith that kept these people going in their darkest hours. Happy Reading…
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a piece on relinquishing control and letting life guide. For an ex ‘Control Freak’ acceptance of the flow of life wasn’t easy but it came with its own rewards of peace, open mindedness and experience etc. However in this process I have found that it is one thing to consent and be guided by life but to succumb to life’s pace is a whole ‘nother story.
In effect I have found that while yes there is a Divine Plan, this plan happens at a divine pace and not a Fiona pace.
It is clear the next step, the next lesson in the sequence of learning to live in sync with the Universe is to Learn Patience. I am sure I am not alone in saying that once a decision is made or an event set in motion and even when you have followed the signs and guidance, sometimes in absolute blind faith, it can seem to take an extraordinarily long time to get to the end point, where change is fully realised or the good part comes into fruition.
Worse still I am a number 5 = The number 5 is the most dynamic and energetic of all the single-digit numbers in numerology, it is unpredictable, always in motion and constantly in need of change, so the term patience to a number 5 is like a 4 letter word.
But when you think about it, what is the alternative? Impatience?
Impatience is a characteristic that denotes restlessness and intolerance, by being impatient there is a preoccupation with the future, an inability to endure delay or opposition, heightened intolerance and anxiety. Impatience makes you demanding, encourages you to become controlling and respond to your circumstances with arrogance, it demonstrates a desire to manipulate your reality, a lack of faith and hinders growth.
So really the choice is easy. But what is the Universe saying when it speaks of patience…
“journey, journey, journey” it is the journey that counts.
Ill give you an example. A couple of years ago I was in a job that I desperately wanted to move on from. It was toxic and definitely going nowhere. So I applied for new jobs and more new jobs always being driven forward by the end result of escape. But relief did not come. I became disheartened, obsessive and compulsive – toys got thrown – why wasn’t this working???
Eventually after close to a year of looking I found my current role being both a step up in responsibility and pay. On reflecting back on that time, I wondered why it took so long, why was it necessary that I go through all that pain and what did I need to learn from my experience (particularly because I didn’t want to go through that again)?
I came to the realisation that I was so focussed on the end result, so preoccupied with the ‘escape’ that I lost all enjoyment in my day to day life, my impatience made me intolerant, agitated and restless. But as I was studying at the time, it was my day to day experiences that gave me the skills, experience and knowledge to be successful in my new role.
So in effect indulging in my impatient behaviour made my journey so much harder than it needed to be, I did not see the value in the present.
So to approach life with patience enables a gentle, receptive attitude to creating your reality and with a faith in the outcome that determines your experiences. Everything we do/experience has due process so that if we patiently let that process develop, with gentle perseverance and quiet determination, then our experience, our journey, naturally becomes more enjoyable and
ensures we gain the benefit of valuable insight learned from living in the moment.
Patience is delaying gratification, gaining the knowledge we need from the present and allowing rewards to come later. It is the spiritual path taken in difficult times.
So with this 4 letter word back in my vocabulary I plan to focus on the journey and ensure I learn from my experiences in a patient kind of way.
Change is the name of the game in 2013, as is facing our fears. Many people love change, the feeling of freshness, the new breeze that sweeps through and clears out the old. However, I am sure I speak for just about everyone when I say that even when it is positive, there is an element of fear associated with change. That fear comes from our inner control freaks as we seek to direct what happens next to ensure future stability, control the unknown and avoid suffering.
What happens if we take the road less travelled and let life guide us in the direction that IT chooses? Well I think, no I am sure, that this is a lesson I have been asked to learn recently…
For the last 5 or 6 years I have had a notion in my head that I would move house so that my children could go to a specific highschool (anyone with children would know that school zoning is a complete nightmare). I was sure that particular highschool was going to be the best for them and there really wasn’t anyone who was going to convince me otherwise. I had even stopped short of making some very needed alterations to my current house because I had a grander plan.
Then suddenly, much earlier than I expected, it was time to move. And of course I set off with a rigid plan to get done what needed to get done. And trust me I was RIGID.
Then came the first lesson, from the best house ever. It got the 10 out of 10 from everyone who saw it, the kids chose their rooms and there was even a picture of a cat the same as ours on the wall. But it was 50m out of the set school zone!!! And from there things went down hill, lots spanners were thrown in the works, seriously unexpected issues arose and the whole process of change of abode got bigger and bigger. There were signs that this whole exercise needed broader consideration beyond my 5 year old plan. I had to let go and get a new plan as the many stumbling blocks screamed ‘this is not the best way’.
I would love to say I was graceful in getting to this point, but to be honest it felt like a band aid had been ripped off and consequently there were quite a few quiet tantrums thrown before I could let go of my preconceived ideas. And unfortunately this didn’t just happen once… it took a couple of talking to myself, mind broadening sessions before I stumbled across the perfect house in an amazing location, zoned for a completely different but equally amazing school, satisfying all the external unexpected criteria and best of all it came with a whole lifestyle change.
From there within a week I had sold my house and bought this new perfect one. Things are still progressing so there could be plenty more spanners thrown in the works before the end, but the pace and ease with which everything occurred once I had removed the blinkers, was astounding. What can I say – it was meant to happen.
Planning and controlling events and other people to within an inch of their lives is a common human response to a fear that life might just not happen the way we want it to. But what if it could be even better. Relinquishing control and allowing life to guide us, is a more spiritual response to change and therefore, although difficult, is also very rewarding. Embracing change without control opens up unimaginable opportunities, brings adventure and enables an open-minded approach to life.
Conversely the desire to control leads to narrow thinking, limited opportunities and blinkered imagination as well as having an affect on our bodies in the form of arthritis in our hands as we try to hold that control and anxiety and knots in our stomach and shoulders as we carry the burdens of life.
From my own experience, and trust me buying and selling houses is no small feat, I have seen the possibilities in being guided by faith, faith that every stumbling block is asking for a change of perspective, a broadening of approach. When something appears difficult or events do not go according to plan, faith that there is a bigger reason, as there is a bigger reason for every failed experience, every delay, every disappointment.
Everything happens for a reason and because of that to relinquish control is really our only option.
And speaking of everything happening for a reason – as I came to post this piece I saw my star sign for today which read – Challenge yourself to trust that the universe has a grand plan for you, and that this is all happening in divine order. What are you holding onto, anyway? Throw your hands in the air and enjoy the ride of your life…