Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Birthdays… These are all special days for most but can be sad for some, especially those who are either without a partner or who are unlikely to get their expectations for the special day met.
With that in mind, I have to say my 2013 Mother’s Day was probably the best I have had yet. It was bound to be, as I now have down to a fine art the special day FORMULA: Planning, Practice and an Adventurous Spirit.
I have come far. It wasn’t so long ago that I hated special days. Everyone else had someone to organise something for them, someone to take over the planning, thinking, action. If nothing else, it was the thought that counted. That’s when the anxiety and the perception of how different your life is to everyone else’s, sets in. I call it the Special Day Blues…
After a couple of years of Special Day Blues I began to focus on what it was about these days I could actually enjoy. I shifted the focus from “what about me” to “the responsibility rests with me”.
Fortunately after a bit of practice and the realisation that I had chosen this lifestyle, the old adventurous spirit came back. I now begin planning an adventure about a week in advance of a special day. And who better to share this with than kids who will almost always get enthusiastic about something as long as you are. So our formula is:
PLANNING = Ensure there is an outing, something we will all enjoy (so no dishes is a must), and an afternoon movie at home, an old favourite or something we have all been waiting to see: PRACTICE = the key is to be conscious of what it is we all like to do together, what we all get excited about = ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT and saving it up for that approaching special day.
With this Formula there are also a few must nots/things to avoid: while it might be your special day, being a little stubborn over what it is that You want to do isn’t going to work. Save this for your normal time out that you have factored into your weekly schedule! Doing something that everyone else is bound to enjoy that you will not enjoy yourself, is not going to work either. Find the middle ground. Also planning is not controlling; it means planning for and encouraging enjoyment but being flexible on the day. If chaos reigns and you don’t get it right the first time with your 6 year old telling you he would rather stay at home and play Lego than climb on rope swings at Kings Park, take it as constructive criticism and go back to the drawing board.
Special days don’t have to be difficult – with a little planning, practice and an adventurous spirit, they will become what they are meant to be – SPECIAL… Remember, if you fail this time around there will be another special day just around the corner…
Mother’s Day in particular is the perfect day to practice allowing someone else to make you happy, which will make them happy too – practice loving the noise at 6.30am which sounds like breakfast being made for a restaurant of 40 and eating uncooked crumpets and a half tin of milo in a cup in bed xx